you better believe it.

Can you love the result of something but hate the actual thing?

I adore the maximization of day light, but fuck spring forward! you hour thieving time change.

i’m thinking about leaving school, growing a beard and joining the circus.

THE DEVIL AND I HAVE AN UNDERSTANDING. I'LL RUFFLE FEATHERS AS LONG AS I CAN USE BEING HIS ADVOCATE AS AN EXCUSE TO EXPRESS MY TRUE OPINION

Don't we generally say "I'm only playing Devil's Advocate" as an excuse while pissing people off? It's similar to adding "just kidding!" after saying something hurtful. What lame attempts we make to be honest and skirt out of it.

It's here! It's here!

24-hour library access with free coffee and popcorn! this is the benefit of a 40-grand annual education. yipee~

all joking aside, i do appreciate my school's attempt to host this inevitable and stressful situation that happens three times during the academic calendar. cramming into a library at 4 am with other students really makes you feel like you're not alone. my only wish is that my school could do something about this spring forward - can we keep all the clocks on campus from not losing an hour? anyway. i've come to love my school and today while walking across campus i could not help but be taken by its beauty. last year i hated my school along with many other things. oh the changes our hearts make when we become happy people. i love you college...you make my mind and (begrudgingly) waist line expand...

we girls are just sugar n' spice n' everything nice :)

I ought to just pack up and head home (currently at the school library) I'm hardly being productive. Stupid finals, you ruin everything.

seems about right.

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE…
enough money within her control to move out and rent a place of her own, even if she never wants to or needs to…
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE…
something perfect to wear if the employer, or date of her dreams wants to see her in an hour…
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE…
a youth she’s content to leave behind….
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE…
a past juicy enough that she’s looking forward to retelling it in her old age….
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE…
a set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill, and a black lace bra…
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE…
one friend who always makes her laugh.. and one who lets her cry…
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE…
a good piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone else in her family…
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE…
eight matching plates, wine glasses with stems, and a recipe for a meal, that will make her guests feel honored…
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE…
a feeling of control over her destiny..
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…
how to fall in love without losing herself..
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…
how to quit a job, break up with a lover, and confront a friend without; ruining the friendship…
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…
when to try harder…and WHEN TO WALK AWAY…
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…
that she can’t change the length of her calves,the width of her hips, or the nature of her parents..
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…
that her childhood may not have been perfect…but it’s over…
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…
what she would and wouldn’t do for love or more…
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…
how to live alone…even if she doesn’t like it…
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…
whom she can trust, whom she can’t, and why she shouldn’t take it personally…
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…
where to go…
be it to her best friend’s kitchen table..
or a charming Inn in the woods….when her soul needs soothing…
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…
What she can and can’t accomplish in a day…a month…and a year…

by Maya Angelou

is it possible to miss being an infant?

since we can't actually recollect those years of our lives

can we miss something we don't know even though we once had it?

I am preparing for one of the worst weeks of my life...the week before finals (groan)

I've made a comparison.

Insanity is like STDs, and everyone should be checked regularly.

...but of course, like STDs nobody does.

sometimes I forget that people can see me while in my car, and I’ll carryout odd otherwise private behavior. then I’ll realize that somebody is staring at me, but I never feel embarrassed. isn’t that how we should feel outside of an automobile? behave naturally and carefree? i think my in-car-frame-of-mind needs to become exo-vehicular

you only have to buy one of Michael Pollan's books; they all say the same thing.

"eat food. not too much. mostly plants."

^he's making bank of reiterating the same idea over and over.

My favorite cheese is cake.

The last time I stated this someone argued that "cake" was not my favorite cheese but "cream" was since that is the actual cheese used in cheese cake. Well...I rebut by saying that because something is added to it, does not make it any less of a cheese. Consider pepper jack cheese, technically it is jack cheese with spicy goodness flavors added just as cake is added to cream cheese. Debate won. And my appreciation for cake flavored cheese stands.

I have cerebral diabetes, no joke. I finally brought myself to meet with my childhood psychiatrist and as an adult I am able to express myself and confirm her initial assumptions. My contradicting personas are explained, along with many other things. I feel different...excited yet freaked out because this self revelation is the equivalent of learning that there is a recycling bin around the corner, you can no longer revel in ignorance and must actually be proactive. Cheers to being mature enough to put your pride on the shelf and properly take care of yourself - that is real self love.

look at the !

my brain feels over-saturated

it's as if my mind is so full that there isn't enough room for a thought to move.

People often say "there's a reason for everything." I think this implies the idea of fate - that something was predestined to happen in order to enrich you; which I interpret as your shaping/development is entirely out of your control.

I prefer to think that "you can pull a reason out of everything." Things just happen; it can be good, it can be bad and other times it just is. Regardless of the interpretation, I firmly believe every experience holds some sort of value from which you can learn from. To learn from our experiences is a choice made by oneself, and only from learning do we make value of the un preferable experiences.

This ramble should be extended further considering the self analysis that took place prior to this statement about life. However, that will take time and I still have quite a bit of homework to complete before day break haha. Consider this post a "save the thought," so you can tune in later.

I'm still figuring myself out...socially. Wouldn't you think that a twenty-something-year-old would be consistent in how they act? I have a history of being a wild, ridiculous, outgoing party girl who shares whatever thought or interesting fact about herself seems relevant. This persona you come to know quickly and is very "what you see is what you get," leaving many to not like what they see. I can also be the laid back, waters run deep, the more you get to know the more you learn kinda gal. It's neat to be investigated by others, being an unknown is incredibly intriguing and I am certainly interesting enough to hold one's attention. My polar-opposite public selves present themselves in similar situations and are in many ways unpredictable. And although they contradict each other, they both compliment me as a person...

There are six billion people in the world

More or less

And it makes me feel quite small

That you're the one I love the most of all

If you were an album, what songs would compose you?

I listened to a song that really (uhm...get ready for the pun) struck a chord with me a while back. I recalled how I felt and why I was so taken by that particular song, and then I realized how over it I was. I had moved past that part of my life. It seems entirely possible to express our lives through songs. I'm tempted to start writing down what ever song suits me at that stage of life. Would it be accurate? At the end I would have something like an album...that would be pretty neat to hear the contrast of your life, the progression of emotions that you experienced.

If exposing your baby to grit improves their immune system and decreases their chances of getting sick when older...does that mean I have an excuse to not wash my kitchen floors for awhile after having a kid?

I would have children just for the opportunity to take awesome pictures like this one. Sometimes I miss my day care job, kids have a way of making you feel special yet still manage to keep it real.

Some people want to be buried, others would prefer to be cremated....I want to be mummified in high quality bacon. The brine will preserve me.

I possess the ability to express.

I've found myself posting several pictures, quotes and miscellaneous yet awesome things gathered from the internet while procrastinating....but really that's what my tumblr account is for. I re-activated this blog to write my own rambles. To share the thoughts that quite frankly, don't fit in any conversation or is perhaps too insane to divulge face to face. Now, that isn't to say miscellaneous yet awesome internet gatherings won't appear because ipso facto I like to share and make things pretty. I would post my own pictures, but I have trust issues with the internet and although I want to share, I don't want to give them to anyone...especially ownership. I'll have to look into ownership rights on blogs because I know you don't have them on facebook - which I am no longer a member of. Facebook and I parted ways months ago after I realized I just liked sharing shit and not the expectation to stalk people. Anyhow. Procrastination time is over (for now). To my paper I return. S2 <- it's a heart..a very *cute* heart.

BTW this is my tumblr

I hate crickets, ever since Pinnochio...they're too bossy.

- Beaver (Greek)

“Seven Blunders of the World”

1. Wealth without work

2. Pleasure without conscience

3. Knowledge without character

4. Commerce without morality

5. Science without humanity

6. Worship without sacrifice

7. Politics without principle

—	Mahatma Gandhi

doggy

mon·de·green [mon-di-green] –noun

mon·de·green  [mon-di-green]
–noun
a word or phrase resulting from a misinterpretation of a word or phrase that has been heard.

^ can there be a mondegreen of people perception?
ie: I thought she was annoying, then told everyone she was. But really she's just about the coolest chick around.
....maybe not. That's just being judgmental and a gossip.

if we travel to the Emerald City...I know who is getting the brain and who's in need of the heart.

this is Neil Gaiman's personal library; which looks more like a video rental aisle


...jealous.

Gray, quiet and tired and mean
Picking at a worried seam
I try to make you mad at me over the phone
Red eyes and fire and signs
I'm taken by a nursery rhyme
I want to make a ray of sunshine and never leave home

No amount of coffee, no amount of crying
No amount of whiskey, no amount of wine
No, nothing else will do
I've gotta have you, I've gotta have you

Wouldn't it kind of be a compliment if the Devil wanted to make a deal for your soul? I mean, of all the souls out there...he's interested in yours.

RIVES I want you as my warrior...you can maybe listen to my Prince CDs and make yourself at home any time you'd like.

PROCRASTINATION IS LIKE MASTURBATION. AT FIRST IT I FEELS GOOD, BUT IN THE END YOU'RE ONLY SCREWING YOURSELF.

I found my new dream house.

BELIEVE IN KISSING

What Do Women Want?

I want a red dress.
I want it flimsy and cheap,
I want it too tight, I want to wear it
until someone tears it off me.
I want it sleeveless and backless,
this dress, so no one has to guess
what's underneath. I want to walk down
the street past Thrifty's and the hardware store
with all those keys glittering in the window,
past Mr. and Mrs. Wong selling day-old
donuts in their café, past the Guerra brothers
slinging pigs from the truck and onto the dolly,
hoisting the slick snouts over their shoulders.
I want to walk like I'm the only
woman on earth and I can have my pick.
I want that red dress bad.
I want it to confirm
your worst fears about me,
to show you how little I care about you
or anything except what
I want. When I find it, I'll pull that garment
from its hanger like I'm choosing a body
to carry me into this world, through
the birth-cries and the love-cries too,
and I'll wear it like bones, like skin,
it'll be the goddamned
dress they bury me in.

-Kim Addonizio

I love books. Few feelings rival turning the page of a fantastic novel. As a result of my adoration for the written word, I have come to own many...dozens...maybe hundreds. I am proud of my collection that includes Murakami, Twain, Wells, Sexton among others and am comforted by the knowledge of their existence; regardless of my day I can come home and open MY book with MY notes scribbled in the margins. With new technological introductions such as the kindle and Ipad I'm concerned about the future of tangible books. It is true, I am beginning to feel guilty about the tree cemetery developing in my book case and have become far choosier about which books I purchase for this reason. But I find it hard to believe that nestling into bed with a computer screen will bring the same enjoyment as a REAL page turner. Am I wrong? Am I being closed minded about things I don't understand? If someday when we all switch over to downloaded stories will all our books be dumped? Someday will novels be considered outdated? I'm curious and a little frightful.

real life plot point

Just had a realization...
Upon graduation I will no longer be a student.
Not being a student means I'm dropped by my parent's medical insurance.
Without medical insurance if something happens, especially while abroad, I'm screwed.
With an increased chance of being screwed, hopes of traveling extensively are reconsidered.
Reconsidering means I envelop myself in a career that limits my flexibility to do the things I want to do.

This is a real life plot point that will dictate the excitement of future chapters.
...guess I'll be investing in some good vitamins and accept the challenge of avoiding ailment at all non-costs :)

Gives a less provocative meaning to "banana hammock"

Those bananas remind me of Bananas in Pajamas, maybe all anthropomorphic bananas remind me of the show? I'm curious if I were to encounter another animated cucumber if I would immediately refer to Veggie Tales. Funny enough, I don't think I'll ever come across another dancing cucumber that is not pickled and a cucumber isn't a vegetable! Neither is a tomato. The show should be called "Fruit Tales" or even "Produce/Flora Tales." With the public correction of what categorizes our produce, it's amazing how quickly the "vegetable" bin dwindled. Perhaps it wasn't the actual number of vegetables but things we prefer to be vegetables because they are tasty. I'm sure it's easier to convince a kid to eat a tomato than a beet. I wonder what we'll re categorize next now that Pluto is no longer a planet...nothing wrong with it but definitely intriguing.

a book comes to life

Sometimes I feel I would be more inspired to write

if I sat before a typewriter. Not only is it iconically vintage, but a typewriter's sole purpose is to materialize your words. I don't think anything poetic can be said about laptops with web browsing. Perhaps we should give it a few generations and wait to see what is said about the macbook.

Fuck the past.

EVERYBODY HAS A SECRET WORLD INSIDE OF THEM. ALL OF THE PEOPLE OF THE WORLD, I MEAN EVERYBODY. NO MATTER HOW DULL AND BORING THEY ARE ON THE OUTSIDE, INSIDE THEM THEY'VE ALL GOT UNIMAGINABLE, MAGNIFICENT, WONDERFUL, STUPID, AMAZING WORLDS. NOT JUST ONE WORLD. HUNDREDS OF THEM. THOUSANDS MAYBE.

- Neil Gaiman

I often forget that I am not the only overactive imagination at work.

I find that as my brain chemistry changes, my ability to express myself fails. A graph would be awfully useful to explain this phenomenon. At this point, I'm off the charts and my expression clearly reads "insane."

PS Happy Half Birthday to me!

I am curious where the fine line exists between being a heart hardened cynic and free-lovingly naive. Or if a line even exits...certainly we are both to some extent since the world is various shades of grey.
I know I am not afraid to love but far more choosier than I had been in my sweet teenage years. Before I suffered from Romeo syndrom; in love with the idea of being in love. Now, it's all about the person. It appears cynism has done me well.

There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside of you.

...I'd say even an untold comment can be agonizing. A wise woman that Maya Angelou, therefore I have taken her advice and replugged myself within the blogging community. New Year. New Blog.