I have cerebral diabetes, no joke. I finally brought myself to meet with my childhood psychiatrist and as an adult I am able to express myself and confirm her initial assumptions. My contradicting personas are explained, along with many other things. I feel different...excited yet freaked out because this self revelation is the equivalent of learning that there is a recycling bin around the corner, you can no longer revel in ignorance and must actually be proactive. Cheers to being mature enough to put your pride on the shelf and properly take care of yourself - that is real self love.